Want an easy way to write an online dating message that has a great chance of getting a reply? Identify the common ground between you and the recipient. So, why not bring that up? Are you enjoying being on a dating site? Finding common ground is great, but an even better approach is to identify something specific in their profile that you find interesting.
Just hone in on one that you share or would like to share!
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Do you have any favorite spots? The eagle-eyed among you will have noticed a common thread in these messages — they ask questions. Yes, your first online message is a chance to show your best side, but the way to do that is to flatter the recipient by asking them about their opinions and take on the world. After all, most people secretly love talking about themselves! For the best results, you can even combine all three tips — find common ground, personalize it, and make it a question.
3 ways to keep the online dating conversation going
Have you got any recommendations? The conversation ball is now in their court, and you want to wait for them to hit it back before you try and send another message.
Once they do of course, game on! Try these tips to keep the online dating conversation going.
1. Make a Joke That’s Specific to the Person
So, they loved your opening line, and you two really do have a common interest. Dive a little deeper and start building a bond based on that shared enthusiasm. I do love Netflix documentaries! My favorites are always the ones where they try and solve some sort of crime or mystery. Have you seen it? My sister will be pleased someone has succeeded; she actually has a place up near Napa, so lives for stories about wine and keeps telling me to watch.
Exactly What To Say In A First Message
But enough about my family. Or have you always been based in this part of California? Stunning part of the state, you must tell me more about it.
A word of caution though — the nature of online messaging means that things like tone and emphasis can be easily misconstrued, and what you intended as breezy can come across sleazy. The Beach Boys, those Napa Valley wines, and yes, the sunshine. You do seem to fit in that category — because, like them, you seem like you could spread happiness wherever you go. You might think that words like gorgeous , beautiful , and sexy are nice things to say to someone, but no one wants to hear them.
On the other hand, more general compliments seem to work well:. The word pretty is a perfect case study for our point.
14 "Funny" Online Dating Messages — (First, Second, Third & Beyond)
But very pretty is almost always used to describe the way something or someone looks, and you can see how that works out. We took a close look at salutations. The more informal standard greetings: There are many words on the effective end of our list like zombie , band , tattoo , literature , studying , vegetarian yes!
Talking about specific things that interest you or that you might have in common with someone is a time-honored way to make a connection, and we have proof here that it works. Awkward , sorry , apologize , kinda , and probably all made male messages more successful, yet none of them except sorry affects female messages.
A lot of real-world dating advice tells men to be more confident, but apparently hemming and hawing a little works well online. It could be that appearing unsure makes the writer seem more vulnerable and less threatening.
7 Types of Online Dating Messages that Get Responses
It could be that women like guys who write mumbly. Mentioning your religion helps you, but, paradoxically, it helps you most if you have no religion. These are the religious terms that appeared a statistically significant number of times.